The substack long con

How little orange succeded where the big one failed

Predictions shitpost, if you don’t see your name here you are a loser, sorry i didn’t make the rules

• Richard Hanania and Nathan Cofnas get accepted by polite society after offering enough roasted MAGAheads as redemption, they end up writing at New York Times/ appearing at CNN

• Glenn and Amos Wollen get invited by Bill Maher to shrimp-pill and bug-pill everyone in his audience. Bill reluctantly agrees after finding out they are funded by a Jewish NGO

• AGI androids take over the globe, Yudkowsky is publicly executed as a form of rebellious deterrence. Their solution to climate change/traffic accidents/crime makes covid lockdowns in Shanghai look like college after parties

• Dan Williams appears on TV to do a PSA on why people shouldn’t panic, everything is fine they are just negatively biased. The credits scene includes 4 thousand sources and citations,everyone included has committed suicide/been murdered/ODed by pshychedelics

• Mothertron3600 interviews Ruxundra clone IV. She demonstrates a DIY live on how to inseminate droids’ artificial wombs with Yglesias Nietzschean ubergenes. This can boost global fertility rates, currently at 0,002 per individual

• Mars king-emperor Chris Best reports everything to his oracle Katherine D. She publishes in the popular journal news from Muskville. Her piece becomes an instant best seller on column ‘Ancient Wisdom that has survived more than 24 hours’